Letting Simon Go
by SweetlySinisterScribbler
Summary: What would happen if Clary thought Simon was better off growing into his shadowhunter self without her in Tales From The Shadowhunter Academy? Would she be able to say goodbye for now or remain for fear of losing her best friend? One Shot.


**Hey guys! So this is my first post of the 2020 year and I am so excited to finally be putting this out there for all of you to read. I had the idea for this post since I finished reading ****Tales from the Shadowhunter Academy****. I have been working on this for so long as I wanted to post something I would be proud of and now it is finally here. I would like to say a big thank you to everyone who has been a reader of mine and supported my writing up to this point. **

**For those wondering about any works coming up in the future, I have plans for some stories, but I cannot give a definite posting date or time for these stories at this time. However, they are coming. Also, I am aware of the change to my screen name**

**I would like to give a big shout out to **Special Kid** for supporting my work since 2014! I can't thank you enough for that support!  
I would also like to give a big shout out to **Zoe0405 **for supporting my different Mortal Instruments works. There are no words for the level of support you have shown me throughout these stories! I hope I am doing you proud!**

**With all of that said, let's get onto the story!**

Clary POV

Pulling up to the school, I couldn't tell how it was currently in business. The forest around the building looked to be in ruin as if a wildfire had run through the area. The building itself was dilapidated, with stones littering the ground and stained glass images depicting devilish designs. The courtyard in the front had bushes so overgrown that their design was completely covered and what seemed to be a fountain was now just a small pond for ducks – the statue having gone missing. The front doors were barely hanging on to their hinges and whatever paint was on them was now faded to the point of being undecipherable. Honestly, it looked like an area set up for a haunted house during Halloween in the mundane world.

The inside of the school seemed much better though. The walls looked whole and no pieces of ruin laid in the walkway. The stairs were clean and there seemed to be no missing pieces – like a completed puzzle. There was a long maroon rug going from the front door to the top of the stairs with a geometric pattern on it. Portraits of great dead shadowhunters hung on the walls with brown frames, but those were the only real decorations on the walls. The hallways were lit with lanterns that looked to be circa 1860's or something, but were surprisingly clean considering how long the building was shut down. The inside of the building was like daylight compared to the darkness of the outside, which I have a feeling was because of Magnus' magic.

When we had first arrived, a guide was waiting for us inside to give us a run down. Where we were allowed to go – meaning upstairs, to the library, or anywhere not downstairs- and what places were off limits for us – downstairs and the restrooms -, ultimately ending by saying that we were expected in the cafeteria by noon. Everyone went to do their own things with Iz searching for Simon, Maggie and Alec sneaking off, Robert going to talk with one of the teachers here, and Jace showing a rookie how to hold/throw a knife after nearly impaling me with it on accident. With my chance here, I had snuck down the stairs to see what they were hiding.

Izzy had warned me not to go down here and I already knew why. The random animals that got into the school, the rumors of some demon living down here, the black slime that hung to the walls in the bedrooms, hallways, and bathrooms…it was like a nightmare. Isabelle didn't know that I had come here a few times to talk with Simon and try to help him out; she didn't know the side of him that wanted to remember who he was; she didn't even understand the change he was going through. But I did. I went through a kind of change when I first joined their world.

I walked down the hallway to what was his room, knowing he wouldn't be here. Everyone was upstairs hanging out until it came time for Robert's speech; the rest of the Lightwoods and I would be on stage sitting at a table behind him. We weren't really needed here today, but we came for Robert as he needed examples of "good" shadowhunters to show the students. Stepping quickly into the room, I took a look around, wanting to get a good solid glimpse at where he had been staying. The life he chose for himself here.

His room had no curtains nor did it have a window. There was a single light in the middle of the room and hung on the ceiling, but it was dim from over use. The walls were still covered in that slime, but there seemed to be less, like someone had tried to clean it. There were two beds in the room opposite of each other, but both had frames that were basically non-existent. The beds weren't made, but they were easily the nicest pieces of furniture in the room. The closets in the room looked to be covered in mold and one made sounds like something inhabited it.

'_**I don't want to know'**_I thought to myself, backing away from the closet like it was a murderer.

I stayed for a few minutes before leaving as the others didn't need to be down here too, although whether it was for their sake or mine … I don't know. Heading back up the stairs, I refused to use the railing as that black slime covered it. The slime in the room seemed different from the bit on the stairs, as the slime on the stairs seemed to be moving. Shaking my head quickly in disgust I headed back to where I left the others, but ended up getting lost. The building looked small from the outside, however it was as much a maze on the inside as the Institute. I heard footsteps coming up and ran to meet them hoping that they could direct me. Luckily, I was able to catch them.

"Excuse me. I'm looking for the cafeteria, could you help me?" I asked, but the brown haired boy stood there with his mouth agape like a fish.

"Hello?" I ask waving my hand in front of his face.

"Sorry. It's just you're C-C-Clarissa Fray. You're the one who took down Valentine and Jonathan Morgenstern.

"Well, it was mainly my friends with a little bit of help from me." I say, "Look, it's nice to meet you and I don't want to be rude, but I need to get the cafeteria and I'm lost. Could you show me the way there?"

He nods and starts walking, his head hanging down and his hands in his pockets. I slightly laugh and follow him, remembering Simon in high school when he did those same things.

"Is something wrong?" he asks me, refusing to face me.

"No. Just remembering a friend. You two have some similarities."

"Oh."

"So" I say, hoping to get him to smile a little, "what's your name? I don't really recognize you from anywhere"

"Lovelace. George Lovelace."

"Lovelace? Simon's mentioned you a few times. Said you were his best friend here, the one who's had his back throughout this…experience. Thank you, for being there for him. It means a lot to know he had that"

"It's no problem, he's a cool guy." He says finally looking at me, "He's saved my ass more times than I can count. He actually gave up a really valued position and room here for a room that only exists in nightmares. I followed him down there."

"Really? Why'd he do that?"

He stopped walking and turned to face me fully, like this was one of the most serious things ever, "Those who go here who were born shadowhunters can be full of themselves and can treat the mundanes like crap, thinking that they are the "better" species. Simon fought against them and asking for the room was part of his rebellion. I followed so neither of us would be alone."

We stopped talking after that, arriving at the doors to the cafeteria soon after. I found Jace waiting at a door down the hall and, after nodding a thank you to George, headed over there towards my blonde man. I could see him giving the brunette a look and pinched him in the side to grab his attention again.

"Everything okay?" I ask him

"I think so. You know that man?" he asks, pointing at George

"I bumped into him after using the restroom and he offered to walk to the cafeteria with me. We had a small conversation, nothing more." Looking behind him, I can see the others at the table. "Should we go in?"

He nods and grabs my hand, leading me to the table where I take a seat between him and Isabelle. I'm finally able to get a look at the cafeteria and it's astonishing to say the least. There a four buffet style tables laying in the room, one end near the stage and the other end at the other side of the room. There are chandeliers floating between the tables, lighting the aisles and food, giving everything a light glow. The students sitting at the tables are easily discernible, the ones at the two tables to my left being mundanes from the way they look at the others.

I look towards the others two tables and immediately see what George meant. Some of them didn't look that bad, but I recognize one from Izzy's description. His name was Jonathan and he seemed to be someone to try and give Jace a run for his money. Definitely more into his looks and the girl on his arm as per Izzy's information. Of course there are more Jace's in this world. Looking out over the students, I see Robert go to the podium through my peripheral vision, but I'm mainly looking for Simon.

I lean over to Iz and whisper, "Do you see Simon anywhere?"

She shakes her head, "I was hoping you would know where he was. I have no clue and I've been looking since we got here".

Sighing, I straighten myself again and tune Robert out completely, trying to remember what George said. _"Simon fought against them and asking for the room was part of his rebellion. I followed so neither of us would be alone."_

'_**That's right! He disagreed with the way the natural born shadow hunters were treating the mundanes and moved to where the mundanes lived. So he would be seated with the mundanes, right?'**_ I think to myself as my eyes start to roam over the mundanes.

About halfway down the second table, I can see George quietly stuffing his face while taking in Robert's every word, while someone to his left just looks bored, eventually taking off his hood.

'_**SIMON!' **_I think before leaning over and telling Iz where to look. Sure enough, I see her eyes light up after spotting him, but they soon prick with tears over what was lost between them. Silently, subtly patting my pocket with the hand Jace was not holding, I can feel the letter I wrote for Simon there.

I wait for Robert to step away from the podium before getting up and dropping Jace's hand, slowly making my way down the steps and towards that table. The students are silent and their eyes are watching my every move. Robert and the others begin to call me back, but Iz shuts them up. She knows what I'm doing her today and knows that I need to do it for both Simon and I. I enter the aisle between the tables and make my way down, the student turning around in their seats to watch.

By the time I reach him, Simon has turned to face me completely, looking like someone told him that Spiderman was better than Batman. I fall to one knee and grab both of his hands in mine, locking my eyes with his.

"Clary, what -"

"No. You need to listen to me and understand what I'm saying. You have repeatedly told all of us sitting up on that stage that you aren't the same Simon you used to be. I understand that. I've been there. You need to discover who you are and who you want to be, and that's okay. I know that you think we've been expecting you to be this person and expecting these things from you, but we haven't. We want you to be you – whoever that is."

I reach into my pocket and grab the envelope, its thickness now comforting to me. "You mentioned to me that there are times you wish you could remember your past or at least parts of it and that's normal" I say handing him the envelope. "This contains our story. Everything that happened to us from when we were five until that day in the demon dimension. It tells your story from your relationships with all of us and how they came to be to how you saw yourself. If you ever have any questions then read this for your answers. I know the old you and I can't wait to get to know this new you, but you deserve to know your past. Well, you deserve the chance to know what your past holds, whether your brain wants you to or not. I just have one thing to ask you".

He nods and I take a deep breath, knowing everyone is now solely focused on us.

"You have asked us to back off until you find yourself multiple times and that's what I'm doing. You won't see me or hear from me again until you get all of this figured out. But when you do, come find me. Even if you don't end up remembering us, let me know that you found who you want to be and that your safe – that you're happy. That's all I'm asking of you".

He nods again like the ability of speech had been stripped from him and I turn away walking back to the group on the stage. I don't take my seat again though. I walk past all of them without saying a word and head towards the front door of the building, taking off into a quick run to the burned down woods through the rain that came while I was inside. Stopping in the middle of the field, I let the rain wash over me in an attempt to hide the tears currently streaming down my face. I could feel Jace wrap his arms around me and I knew he was trying to say something, but all I could hear was my heart dying.

**I hope you all enjoyed this story. If you did then please leave a review and let me know what you thought. I read all reviews and I do take them into consideration when writing these stories. I am aware of the change to my screenname on this site, it is something that I have wanted to do, but I needed to find what seemed right for me. **

**Thank you so much for reading this! **

**S.S.S.**


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